Tea512

An exhibit will start on October 30 in Columbus Ohio at the 4D Gallery from the artist Richard Whitehurst titled Rape Tunnel. The work of art finds the artist waiting in a room, the only entrance or exit being a 22 ft long plywood tunnel constructed by Whitehurst himself. Then while the gallery is open from 7-12pm he will rape anyone who travels through the tunnel into that room. This wild idea in version two as version one was the Punch You in the Face Tunnel. The theory is the same you climb through a tunnel that gets smaller as you go and when you reach the end, you are vulnerable. The Punch tunnel turned into a lawsuit because the third person, a female model wound up with a broken nose and Whitehurst a lawsuit, which still is not settled. The question needs to be asked why would you go into the tunnel at all? Whitehurst claims that when a person comes through the rape tunnel men, women, old, young, fat, thin and he plans to make the experience as unpleasant as possible for anyone who dares to crawl through the tunnel. A disclaimer reads what will happen to you if you crawl through the tunnel. The question needs to be asked again, why would you go into the tunnel at all? The only other question is this really art and is this what the art community has hailed as great work? We are sure this guy will be arrested and the first person through the tunnel will be an undercover cop. Whatever happens mission accomplished we are talking about his work although it is no masterpiece.

That is right, today 3/3/09 is square root day. This only happens nine times in each century, so happy holiday math junkies. The last one was 2/2/04 and the next will be 4/4/16 so mark your calendar. There have been Facebook groups set up and we are sure there is some kind of party at MIT and Cal Poly Tech. There are no decorations but maybe the can layout ribs in the square root symbol cut vegetables into squares and eat foods in groups of three. So here is you math lesson in honor of the day let us get in the spirit. The square of any positive or negative number is positive, and the square of 0 is 0. Therefore, no negative number can have a real square root. The Rhind Mathematical Papyrusis a copy from 1650 BC of an even earlier work and shows us how the Egyptians extracted square roots. This is the first known instance of the square root and the beginning of the holiday we celebrate today.

In these days of cell phones, GPS and Credit Card Transaction, you can be tracked down in a heartbeat. Remember when you commit a crime that these gadgets and currency options will lead to your capture. We mention this today because in Holyoke, Massachusetts a 23 year old teacher ran away with a 15 year old student. They tracked down because they wee using their cell phones and credit cards. Eventually she used a credit card for a hotel room and that is where they found here. In case you wanted to know what she looked like people were able to post her picture because it was on FaceBook. Currently when you commit a crime or plan to there are some simple tricks that can make you less likely to be caught. First, remove all your social networking photos and accounts. Second, get as much cash as you can before the crime or right after, hit the ATM before you hit the road and never two in any direction. If you leave Massachusetts and the next ATM, charge is in Connecticut on Route 95 you have given up your direction and there is a path to follow. Third through out your cell phone, is you want a phone get a burner, a pay as you go and buy it with cash. The reason to follow these three simple steps is how you can not get caught on the lamb with a 15 year old, two days after you leave in a hotel about 1000 miles away.

NCAA March Madness 22 days
Countdown to Spring 23 days
MLB Baseball Opening Day 39 days
NBA Playoffs 52 days
Days until 2010 - 309 days

National Debt 2/23/1999 5,619,947,525,857.17
National Debt 2/23/2009 10,839,526,591,486.90

This fire is burnin’
and it’s out of control
It’s not a problem you can stop
It’s rock n’ roll
W. Axl Rose Garden of Eden (1991)

The next part of the crazy Michael Phelps story in the aftermath of his picture smoking a bong at a college party Columbia, South Carolina. The owner of the bong that Michael Phelps was caught using on that crazy November night, who we know now was not even at the party. He has made the list of not so very bright bulb on the tree of the Internet. The police in the town had taken offence to the photo from their town and wanted to make arrests. The word was out but the owner of the bong did not hear. He put the bong in question on eBay for a Buy It Now price $100K, the Richland County Sheriff’s department went on the offensive arrested him and eight others. We at Tea512 love a good FaceBook or MySpace story when someone posts a story or photo of a crime; they committed giving the police all they need for the arrest. This is another case where someone does not understand the power and notice of the World Wide Web. We will file it under if I would have know I could get in trouble I would not have done it.

File this under people will buy anything, or people will try to sell anything. At the Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington, Illinois they were looking for creative ideas for the gift shop. They came up the idea of selling Christmas ornaments that were partly manufactured by reindeer. The zoo staff is make decorations out of excrement from the zoo’s two reindeer. The fresh droppings are gathered up by the zoo maintenance workers then they are dried, clear-coated and either painted or rolled in glitter. The shiny or painted do-do is given the creative name magical reindeer gem ornaments. They are supplied with a label of authenticity. Then sent of to the zoo gift shop where they are being sold for five dollars a pop or poop. There was no report on the state of sales of the project. The Miller Park Zoo offers many exhibits and Zookeeper interaction opportunities. Some highlights include: sun bears, reindeer, Sumatran tiger, sea lions, snow leopard, red panda, lynx, Galapagos tortoise, bald eagles, pallas cats, and red wolves. The Zoo features many large exhibits such as a Wallaby WalkAbout, Zoolab, Children’s Zoo, Animals of Asia, Katthoefer animal building and reinder poop to hang on your Christmas Tree.

In the sleepy college town of Morrisville, New York on the campus of Morrisville State College University there is a fifty-five year old campus officer named Sergeant Steve Brody. There is also a coffee shop called The Valero Nice N Easy, both are in the upstate New York town. The coffee shop offers free coffee to any police officer in uniform. Officer Brody stopped by daily for a cup of coffee and the newspaper. At the same time they have on surveillance video helping himself to other items as he routinely stuffed a pastry into his coat. New York State police have accused Brody of taking about $30 worth of pastries over at least 17 separate occasions. Brody, 55, was ticketed for petit larceny. He has not been removed from his position at this time. It always amazing that when some one get a free bit at the apple it is never enough. We see this time and again that once someone is given a free lunch they expect a free diner. When someone is given a free dinner they expect a free drink to go with it. This seems to be more common in the public sector and the welfare state then in the private sector. Happy Halloween everyone and remember when they hold out the candy dish, take one candy, unless you’re a politician then you take the whole bowl.

Countdown to Election Day 2008: 5 days
Countdown to Inauguration Day 2009: 82 daysNational Debt 10/29/1998 5,559,427,769,133.11
National Debt 10/29/2008 10,525,823,144,117.64

I call the doctor
He’s just another
He said I’m sick in the brain
W. Axl Rose Bad Obsession (1991)

25 days Until release of Chinese Democracy from Guns ‘n’ Roses

Some days you just cannot make the news up. There is a story out of the infamous Broward County Florida. A man who was attending a strip club called the Booby Trap. Is that not a great name for a strip club or what? The Pompano Beach club had a performer working the pole. At one point during her routine she lost her shoe. The shoe flew straight up and smashed the glass the ceiling tile. The shoes and the broken glass came crashing down on 35-year-old Charles Privette. He of course is suing for the club employee failed to perform her routine in a reasonably safe manner. Privette lawsuit is for $15,000 as he suffered a small cut to his eyebrow, headaches and nose bleeds because of the January 14 incident of the pole dance with flying shoe. The owner of the club admits this did happen, admit paramedics were called, but he thought injuries were minor. It seems that her at tea512 this should be settled out of court. We think an offer of free entrance to the club and two free lap dances a week would be a great compromise. This seems like it is going to be hard for a person to sue a strip club as both the plaintiff and the defendant are not going to be the seen as outstanding citizens of the community.

Countdown to Election Day 2008: 17 days
Countdown to Inauguration Day 2009: 94 days National Debt 10/15/1998   5,539,382,200,885.97
National Debt 10/15/2008 10,331,139,000,845.92

But now we’re down in the deep end
Where they’d love to watch you drown
I said your laundry could use washing
We’ll hang it up all over town
W. Axl Rose Bad Apples (1991)

In White Plains, New York, kudos is going out to a 13-year-old boy from Westchester County who led the police to a 17-year-old bicycle bandit. The bike was stolen outside a deli while the owner was inside. The 13-year old searched the Internet for the bike over the next couple of days where it appeared on eBay. He gave the information to the police for them to check out; they set up a meeting to view the bike for purchase. When they determined it was the stolen bike, they arrested the 17-year old at his home. No names were released, as everyone involved was a minor. The only reason this story made the crazy Friday story of the week is the bike had a value of $2,275. The 13-year old had a bicycle that is worth more than most people under 25 we know had paid for their car. What kind of car is this kid going to get for his 17 birthday if he gets a $2,275 bicycle? How about if you had a bike worth that much would you leave it unlocked outside a store. It is great he did the legwork to find the bike, it was pretty clear the police were not going to. Hopefully he learned a lesson that he is receiving nice stuff other people will want and in the future take better care of it.

Countdown to the first presidential debate: 7 days
Countdown to the vice presidential debate: 13 days
Countdown to the second presidential debate 18 days
Countdown to the third presidential debate: 26 days
Countdown to Election Day 2008: 47 days
Countdown to Inauguration Day 2009: 124 days

In a little town called Elkhard, Indiana about 160 miles north of Indianapolis and 15 miles east of South Bend. They buried a time capsule in 1958. At least they think so, they wanted to open the time capsule on the 50-year anniversary view items and add more from 2008. The city has a population of over 52,000 people. This was voted on and sounded like a great idea. There are on the hunt to find any information as there is no record in the committee meeting minutes from 1958. They have asked older town members as well as any one with information about it from that era. They thought it was in the park but that time capsule was for the country bicentennial in 1976. Only one resident even remembers which has turned up another problem as they thought it was buried in the center of town. The problem they just spent money to replace all the sidewalks and tearing them up on a wild goose search is not going to happen. The city will still move ahead with the plan to create a new one for 2008 and make sure it is in the city council records, so in 2058 they can actually find where it is.

Countdown to the first presidential debate: 14 days
Countdown to the vice presidential debate: 20 days
Countdown to the second presidential debate 25 days
Countdown to the third presidential debate: 33 days
Countdown to Election Day 2008: 54 days
Countdown to Inauguration Day 2009: 131 days

The bling bandit in New York has allegedly been apprehended. It turns out to be a retired 33 year NYPD detective and Vietnam War veteran, he was suspected of nine bank robberies although at this time only charged with one. They common thread is they were all done while wearing a flashy watch and a shiny ring. He was picked up on Friday for the Queens bank robbery from July 10. Athelson Kelson, is 59 and is living with inoperable liver cancer, he could face up to seven years if convicted. The spree started on June 12 where he sometimes used a handgun and his last heist was Tuesday. The flashy ring that he wore was one you receive when you retire from the detective squad. It is a big gold ring with a replica of a gold shield detective badge; he was presented the ring in 2005. He would rob banks with a note often not having to say a word. It is unclear if Kelson was doing this in aims to get caught, hoping to set off a stand off with police. He did not wear any disguise during the robberies only a hat and sunglasses. The police must have been tipped by the ring but also he would tell the bank personal things about the money he wanted only a bank worker, or a detective would have knowledge of, most of the time the robberies netted less than $1000.

YOU KNOW THAT I NEVER THOUGHT
THAT IT COULD TAKE SO LONG
YOU KNOW I NEVER KNEW HOW TO BE STRONG
Locomotive / W. Axl Rose (1991)

A 22-year-old man from Cloverdale,Indiana named Darren E. Roberts was released from the Sullivan County Jail Tuesday afternoon after doing his time for a bid on auto theft. Twelve hours after he was released he stole a 2004 red Ford Mustang. Then he drove the stolen car to a gas station where he allegedly stole some beer and fled. The police where notified and pursued the red Mustang at speeds of up to 105 mph on Interstate 70, until the car spun out of control and Roberts was forced to surrender. He is accused of stealing a car and beer and leading police on a high-speed chase. He is now being held in the Putnam County Jail. Is it true that once you are a con you can no longer hack it on the outside? Maybe after being cooped up you just want to drive and drink beer so without money the only way is to steal. This person snapped just twelve hours after they were released and they had to know the consequences of getting caught would be an automatic return to the penitentiary.

In Geneva Switzerland an American artist, Paul McCarthy has an exhibition outside in the garden of the Paul Klee Centre Museum the artwork is titled “Complex Shi?” which is about the size of a small house. The exhibit, which no one had heard about, is a giant inflatable dog turd. You know the story what is art to one person is just crap to another. This would not even be mentioned at all except due to high winds the questionable taste art was carried some 200 yards away. The flying excrement brought down a power line and then breaking a greenhouse window. It finally came to rest on the grounds of a children’s home. McCarthy did have a system where the supposed artwork would deflate during storms or high wind but the device malfunction sending the poop a flying.

When I come home late at night
Don’t ask me where I’ve been
Just count your stars I’m home again

W. Axl Rose 1991

Here is some Friday Fluff to set the weekend of on the right note. Elvis Presley had a favorite performance costume. This was a peacock jumpsuit, we have all seen it, the shiny white outfit with a huge plunging V-neck and famous high collar, which featured a blue-and-gold peacock design hand-embroidered on the front and back and along the pant legs. The Gotta Have It! Auction website sold the item for $300,000 this makes it the most expensive piece of Elvis memorabilia sold at auction. The highest selling Elvis collectible to date was $295,000 for his 1956 Lincoln Continental Mark II. That is a car the new record is for a stage outfit. Elvis Presley only paid $10,000 to have the outfit made by Los Angeles designer Bill Belew. The costume made its first appearance at an Elvis concert in the Los Angeles Forum on May 11, 1974. It was also used for the cover photo of the recording “Promised Land.” Belew created all of Presley‘s the stage wardrobe between they years of 68 to 77. Now with that important information out of the way we can all go about our business of having a really good summer weekend.

Nobody understands, quite why we’re here
We’re searching for answers that never appear

W. Axl Rose 1991

The Internet multimillionaire’s privately funded rocket was lost on its way to space Saturday night, this was the third time this mission has failed. The company SpaceX is not giving a warm fuzzy feeling about low cost space delivery.  Elon Musk founded SpaceX based in Hawthorne, CA after selling his PayPal creation to eBay for 1.5 billion dollars. Two minutes after the launch the two-stage Falcon 1 rocket seemed to be moving back and forth before the signal from the on-board camera went dead. It appears from the press conferences held after the rocket preformed as expected in stage one, stage two the separation never happened keeping the rocket together. The first Falcon 1 launch, in March 2006, failed about a minute into its ascent because of a fuel line leak. A second rocket, launched in March 2007, made it to space but was lost about five minutes after launching. The odd thing about this flight is carried three satellites, one for the Department of Defense, two for NASA.  Does our government need to do this as is their budget not carries enough for satellite delivery? To offset the cost of this experiment there were 208 ashes of people who paid to have remains shot into space. Have no fear as the deep pockets will keep the Musk’s dream alive for at least three more attempts already scheduled.

Livin’ on the run for oh so long
I got to go collect

W. Axl Rose 1991

Tea512 came across a story out of Fort Worth, Texas, a driver of a Cadillac hatched a plan to get free gas. The driver would pull his car to the side of the road and claim to be out of gas. He would stop near a gas station, so it is convenient for people to get him some the plan is another driver pulls ask if he needs help and that he had run out of gas and was broke. For that reason, the unsuspecting driver decides to do a good thing for the day. Then purchases a gallon of gas and even a gas can for the guy. When the Police seen him broken down for third time in the same spot, they started to ask questions. While they were, asking him questions one of his victims pulled up and told the Police what he had been told. The man was holding a brand new gas can, with a gallon of gas. The police ran the man license and he had an outstanding warrant, which lead to a search of the vehicle. When the officer opened the trunk there were four more gas cans inside. He was convincing people to either give him money, gas and sometimes both. This is not a crime but more of, what goes off in your head that makes you do this. There was no way to tell if he was even out of gas as the gauge in the car was broken. There is always someone out there relaying on the kindness of strangers for their own personal gain. Some days you just cannot believe the things you hear.

He said you ain’t special, So who you fooling

Don’t try to give me a line

W. Axl Rose 1991

Here is some Tea512 Friday Fluff for you. A 43-year-old Bonita Springs, Florida man was arrested Monday morning and was charged with petty theft under $100, a misdemeanor. Why is this even a news story you ask? The arrest was for stealing 42 cents from a mall fountain. The report reads a customer at the Coastland Center mall reported to the mall security guard, a man was stealing money from a fountain outside. The security guard a women apprehended the man holding him until the police arrived. The money from the fountain is donated to Habitat for Humanity of Collier County. He was arrested when they found him in possession of a wet amount of 42 cents in change. There has been some back leash for actually arresting the person and even more proving the 42 cents came from the fountain. The report says the witness reported what they had seen, and signed a statement. Is there anything you can buy in the USA for 42 cents? Had this guy done this before or was this his first time? Is this really all that is going on in Bonita Springs? How many people would report this, if they seen it happen? How many people would actually call the police over it? How many Police would actually arrest the guy? There are so many questions and because it is Friday, let us just sweep it under the rug. Let just call it a cosmic convergence where this guy picked the wrong time to reach in the fountain, the witness made the choice to report, the guard made the choice to detain, the cops made the choice to arrest.

Its hard to see with so many around
you know I don’t like being stuck in the crowd

W. Axl Rose 1988

Tea512 learned that in the big city of New York there are places where people are getting naked and hanging out. These places include restaurants, yoga club and comedy club. Let try it one at a time the restaurants are rented by about 50 diners who enjoy being naked. Everyone at the dinner party will be naked, except for the staff, by law they must be clothed. This occasion seems like a nude beach except no sand, sitting and eating. Next up is a yoga class naked taught twice a week. This does not seem that off the mark as yoga is supposed to help you with becoming one with your body. Therefore, there is no real shock here although some of the yoga positions might make your neighbor behind you, workout with their eyes closed. The thing we find with this let all get naked and expose ourselves crowd, most of the time it is not someone you would want to see naked in the first place. The last place listed was a Comedy Club, can you imagine? The audience full of naked people and a comedian comes out and starts ripping into the people. This must do wonders for the old adage; imagine them in their underwear so you are not as intimidated by the audience, how about looking at them completely naked. We believe this is a niche club, with the same people attending these events. As always at Tea512 we support naked, naked in public, we usually prefer naked in public by good-looking people. 

I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
W. Axl Rose 1987

Daytona Beach has a police officer run wild. Lt. Major Garvin, who has been on the force 15 years, failed a polygraph test. He asked for this test then could not beat the machine. Turns out Officer Garvin was going into a local Starbucks as much as six times a night demanding free coffee and tea threatening the employees with slow response time to emergency calls if the charged him. Garvin was fired, as not only was he over stepping the use of his badge with the Starbucks employees, he would also cut in front of the paying customers. Every job has a bad apples, every job has people that try to squeeze everything they can get from the company. There is no surprise that a policeman thinks the stores on his beat should provide him free services even if it is six times a day. 

And every time you think you know just what you are doing
That’s when your troubles exceed  

W. Axl Rose 1987

Tea512 has been pretty rough in these pages on police and politicians. We make no apologies for our opinions as we believe that is the freedom of the first amendment and the right to blog. So when we came across this story out of Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin. It appears a woman Elizabeth Ann Kormmes from Iron Mountain, Michigan with the license plate that reads “trouble” was leaving a parking lot. Police were called as the woman appeared drunk; she was easy to track down with that plate. The police then gave her a standard sobriety test which she failed. So she decides that she knows a way she can get out of it. The 30 year old then offered the arresting officer sex and 10,000 dollars cash to let her go. Needless to say she was arrested and charged with drunken driving, bribing a public official and driving with a revoked license. The reason her license was revoked is she had already been arrested and found guilty of drunk driving four previous times. This is why she was ready to do anything to get out of being caught again. It is amazing how many times a person can screw up before they finally wind up behind bars. This woman is a train wreck and without having met her, it would seem jail time is needed for a correction in her life. 

Well I’m a west coast strutting One bad mother

There is a disgruntled city computer engineer in San Francisco who has altered the new multimillion-dollar computer network to deny access to top administrators. He is sitting in jail with a $5 million dollar bail. Terry Childs, a 43-year-old computer network administrator has been charged with four counts of computer tampering. The city’s new FiberWAN system Childs denied officials thier e-mails, access to city payroll, and even law enforcement documents. He created an administrative password then locked out everyone else. There are some allegations they tried to fire him, as he was keeping track of all the interdepartmental communications because of his ability to watch the wire. The city officials are not sure if he can still access the machine through remote communications, or has set up time delayed rogue attacks. They have not found any destruction of public records, although we know that is an option. We at Tea512 love this kind of story because people use computers all the time and the never think some is watching over it. So people send dirty emails to coworkers, or put an excel spreadsheet with the company salaries on a shared drive, even create a document describing a sexcapade with a significant other. We who work in IT see these things all the time. You do not have to snoop for anything as most of the time the best nuggets is right under your nose. This story does have a Terminator / Matrix feel to it though as the city wide networks are compromised. Only in the movies it is a machine growing inside out, this is an employee growing from the inside out.

You can taste the bright lights — But you won’t get them for free
W.Axl Rose 1987